BECOMING.

Michelle Obama once stated what becoming meant to her. "For me, becoming isn't about arriving somewhere or achieving a certain aim. I see it instead as forward motion, a means of evolving, a way to reach continuously toward a better self. The journey doesn't end," she wrote in her best-selling memoir Becoming.

This week I stood in line at Barnes and Noble. Since I shop entirely online due to Covid19, I thought this was a treat on my day off. I was in my own zone when I had an encounter with a stranger that makes me challenge my own response even as I write this.

As I was in line, Michelle Obama's book Becoming was sitting on the table next to me. As I socially distanced myself from the person in front of me and behind me, by standing on my allotted blue "X," I pondered purchasing the book. I picked it up and looked at the back cover, mostly for the price, then I flipped it over to admire the cover. It was at this point that I heard a manly voice behind me say, "More like UN-Becoming."

I glanced a moment behind me assessing if he was talking to me. Since I was the only one in line and holding the book, I assumed his comment was for my benefit. I slightly acknowledged him with a positive comment instead of engaging his negativity. I said, "I respect her and would find this an interesting read." He scoffed at me and then proceeded to mention that she (Mrs. Obama) is rumored to not even be a woman, but a man. What?!

With encounters like this my fight or flight mode kicks in very quickly, hence the first response being the most likely for "battling Bev." In this case, I figured out very quickly I did not want to get into an altercation with him as he was twice as big as me and at that moment his opinion was not relative to my way of thinking. It's here where the internal conflict happened.

Quickly assessing my situation my first thought was for my safety to ignore him, but then as a woman, I wondered if I should defend her? Was it worth a verbal altercation with someone who didn't matter in my life, but at the same time doesn't all people matter? Years ago, I wouldn't have thought twice about a man not hitting a woman for a difference of opinion, but anymore I can't trust that assumption even in a civilized society.

So instead, I just looked forward and shook my head in disbelief that a stranger thought he needed to inflict his highly negative and slanderous opinion on me when it was neither requested nor provoked.

What would you have done? Are you a fight or flight person?

I find myself evolving with each encounter reaching a more godly decision to speak up, speak out or just be a silent presence . I am praying that when "they go low, I go high" (Michelle Obama).

I may not have been right, but for me it was right for right now.

What She Said ~ Beverly

#becoming

#leadershipdevelopment

#conflictmanagement